Well last year had it's fair share of ups and downs, the beginning of the year saw me open up and finally get rid of my abusive step father, but also saw the beginning of my first real relationship (if you could call it that).
As the year progressed I became someone who was focused and wanted to lead a normal life, who wanted to be the best person I could, I wanted to leave home, go to Uni and show the world who i truly was. Towards the end of the year I finally did that when I met 'the one' I started changing into the person I actually wanted to be rather than the person who I thought people wanted me to be. I got rid of my ex who was holding me back, I got out of the place that was holding me back and I found the people who truly help me excel in this life.
The closest of my tight knit group of friends truly saved me from myself, that person is my boyfriend. He helped me to see that I didn't need to hate myself for stupid little things, hell, I didn't need to hate myself at all, the amount of love that he shows me on a constant basis, not daily or hourly, constant, showed me that. So on the 31st of December 2014, me and my boyfriend drove out to the park and I safely discarded the things that I used to hurt myself and once used to attempt end my life, I didn't even hesitate to get rid of them which surprised both myself and him, we both thought I would try and hold on to them until the last minute but I didn't. I am the proudest I've ever been of myself and I think I'm truly beginning to like myself and who I've become in this life. Yes, there were a few times in my life that I honestly believe that I could have handled it better but that helped to shape who I am today and looking back I wouldn't change any of it for the world. I'm going to embrace this little infinity that will span the rest of my life, this little section will be shared with the one person I'll love for eternity.
This year began with the best night I've ever had, filled with amazing people and also exercised the way that I literally care for anyone, one girl Sammy was walking home clinging to her friend drunk and me being the person I am decided to help her friend hold her up and walk her home. This girl was extremely thin but wasn't light due to the fact she was falling all over the place but I held her up the whole way home. That is who I want to be this year, someone who never ceases caring, who loves and is loved and also I want to be conscious about every decision I make this year.
My resolutions this year are ones I will keep to, no matter what:
1. To loose some weight and tone up.
2. Budget!! I don't want to run out of money again!
3. Get at least two new tattoo's
4. Most importantly get over my depression and anxiety, originally I gave myself 5 years to do that but I feel like now I can do it. The time is now!!
This is the year of happiness, go and find yours!
<3
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